traditional child-rearing sensibilities maintain that if a mother gives her son attention he’ll turn out gay, and if she doesn’t he’ll turn out autistic. if this is true, then logically every gay autistic person was raised by a mother in a constant state of quantum uncertainty, simultaneously giving and not giving affection. i call this hypothetical parent georgine bauer—schroedinger’s mother
fantazy novels always replace “oh my god” or “for god’s sake” or “i swear to god” with something else, but i feel like the locked tomb had the right idea by making god just some guy, and also exactly the kind of guy who would respond “i never did that” to someone saying “god forbid women do anything”
Imagine if Judith actually managed to become a Lyctor, yeah sure oh she’d go through terrible grief etc etc but worse than all she would get an aneurysm seeing the way John Gaius acts
and what is she gonna do about it??? Call god for help?? He’s already there and he’s eating peanuts in his underwear
#the woman that thought Palamedes was lacking gravitas could not handle john and his unsettling normalguy swag #absolutely not #he makes a single bad pun and she faints #she’d faint more often than harrow and that without a lobotomy (op’s tags)
here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.
we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3
So my girlfriend’s girlfriend, (an Australian) and I (Murican) were talking about showers, and a bit of culture shock ensued, so now I’m making this poll. If you vote, please reblog with your answer and where you’re from in the tags, I’m really curious if this is a culture thing, or if there’s something else going on.
oh, the moment that I knew I was well and truly fucked for this series was the moment getting off the shuttles when Gideon was holding the 7th and got drawn on and she feels Harrow’s fingers pressed against her skull. she thinks great, Harrow is about to be a massive bitch right now but instead Harrow defends her and Gideon thinks okay sure unified front, but she’ll be a bitch in private about it but Harrow just lets it go and doesn’t mention it.
It’s such a compelling scene on the first read through and the exact moment I went from “oh I love this” to “this is consuming my soul” but it’s so much more better on the second read.
Harrow, standing in the light of the sun for the first time in her life realizing
1) this man is a corpse
2) the 7th can’t have actually fainted considering she’s still controlling her dead cavalier’s corpse to draw on Gideon which means this was a set up to garner pity
3) there is no way to accuse the 7th of this without looking insane
4) that she has not earned one bit of trust from Gideon to tell her any of this and will simply need to keep track of this and manage the entire situation by herself
It made me go insanely the first time and every subsequent time and every time I even think about Harrow’s fingers pressed into the back of Gideon’s skull, realizing how well and truly fucked this whole situation is before they’ve even gotten inside, having spent a lifetime taking out all of her hurt and rage onto Gideon and then realizing abruptly exactly what that means
One of my favorite things about Pride and Prejudice is the Bennet family’s complete cluelessness about Darcy and Elizabeth. Like, if this were a tv show about the Bennets, Darcy and Elizabeth are like, the D storyline. The whole family is trying to get Jane and Bingley together, the regiment is stationed in Meryton, Mr. Collins is taking the house, Lydia and Wickham are obviously the climax, these people have a lot going on. And then, once the regiment has left and Jane and Lydia and Mr. Collins are married and everything seems resolved: plot twist! They’ve got random nobility at the door in the middle of the night telling the know-it-all sister who has been home on and off through the year not to marry the rando rich guy they all hate simply because they’re family and loyal to each other damnit and he called the know-it-all sister ugly once.
And then, of course, they all find out Lizzy and Darcy are actually very in love and literally all of the good things that have happened to them this year are a direct consequence of Darcy loving Lizzy lolol.
Girl what the fuck is going on in tumblr offices right now to let the decisions they just dropped be made
To the executive who made the decision and the RND staff that told said exec to make that decision: the only reason you’re winning the race right now is because you’re the tortoise. Don’t be the fucking hare.
“Valley what the fuck are you talking about”
Today, tumblr staff posted a very long announcement on their blog, which you can find here.
It’s a long post that’s pretty hard to read, mostly because the entire thing reads like the writer was held at gunpoint by the zuck himself. (To the poor staff member who had to write this shitshow, I’m so sorry, may you get a raise for your efforts) Here are some of the main points:
Tumblr (the company) is concerned about gaining more users from outside sources, such as other social media sites
They’re planning on doing this by updating their advertising practices to the industry standard (basically, advertising tumblr the way Meta advertises Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, or the way Twitter advertises itself)
They want to change how tumblr looks when you’re not logged in so that more people are convinced to sign up (they didn’t say how, exactly) but that’s not fully fleshed out yet
Gave a very interesting statistic that the average tumblr user scrolls though 25 posts a day and did not specify wether or not this is good or bad (most likely because it’s fucking wrong)
Plan to improve their “algorithmic ranking capabilities on all feeds” (which I don’t understand fully, but it sure fucking sounds like data mining)
Plan to change thread mechanics again, but this time they’re collapsible
Plan on putting new creators in the forefront by boosting their visibility on all dashes, and “improving the feedback loop for creators” (which once again I don’t understand fully)
Plan on implementing spam filters when posts make rounds
There’s a lot more RND on their end about to happen, regarding notifications, emails and staff-to-user communications
Want to make emails more personal per creator (??????????)
Backend stuff regarding site stability and performance on mobile
TL;DR: Tumblr is attempting to catch up with other social medias by becoming more like Twitter, even though the whole reason they had a massive influx of users recently was because of their lack of invasive, intrusive and vile business practices to sell themself.
Needless to say, people are fucking pissed. A lot of this is the exact opposite of what tumblr users want, and feels like the thing that’ll make this site finally crash and burn alongside the others. Which is terrifying!
So if staff are reading this, I’m gonna repeat my statement: the singular reason your site ended up being refuge in this time of dying socials is because the bar is in hell, and you barely jumped it by not having the bells and whistles that everyone’s tired of. Don’t trip while you’re still ahead.
The way The Locked Tomb uses cannibalism is so interesting, because while it does serve as a metaphor for intimacy, the series only uses it that way when it’s cannibalism of the soul. Cannibalism of the flesh is either extremely limited, or straight up horrific.
Like step six of the Eightfold Word. It’s literally presented as “consume the flesh,” but Ianthe goes out of her way to specify that a single drop of blood is sufficient. The most unhinged act of intimacy in the series, and it’s explictly the soul and only the soul being digested.
Human flesh is only consumed in any volume twice: John’s post-apocalyptic survival cannibalism, and Harrow’s delicious murder soup. Both those scenes are exactly the opposite of intimate, and about as far from erotic as you can get.
John and Alecto gorging themselves on anonymous strangers was debasing to everyone involved, and not something John ever wanted to be reminded of. Harrow’s soup was a desperate attempt at self-defense, like an animal in a trap gnawing through her own leg. It horrified and disgusted everyone at the table, even Ianthe, the number one suspect at making it weird.
I love the overall effect of the layered symbolism, because it allows cannibalism to be explored both ways. Seperately, without one connotation implicating the other. Except for Babs, of course, who gets to be both.
you really gotta admire the craft of a poisonously catholic narrative that manages, nevertheless, to make a woman consuming a man NOT about sex OR birth OR communion
like what ianthe did to babs was absolutely fascinatingly unerotic AND profane. absolutely stunningly gross on every level. 10/10 writing. no idea how taz managed it.
imagine being camilla hect. like. you’re traipsing across the the galaxy with a revolutionary group trying to kill God and your travel companions include
- the woman who tried to have you beat up
- the woman who officiated the match in which you were supposed to be beat up
- a picture that looks very much like your dead friend
you travel like 40,000 lightyears to find a girl, who you last saw crying over the body of said dead friend, in order to figure out if your boss is still in the skull you super-glued together from his bone fragments after he self-detonated.
you find the girl, and she has a brain hemorrhage after looking at the picture, attacks you, and also insists that you’re dead and claims to have seen your corpse. she gives you a letter and it turns out she lobotomized herself. things could be going better.
this post i made in january…. and this didn’t even begin to cover it… camilla hect sweetie im so sorry
okay wow i didn’t even get past the tip of the iceberg
imagine being camilla hect:
you are a prisoner of war, and your aforementioned travel companions are also prisoners of war… well one is at least. the other is now radicalized. and together they’re going through a twelve year long childhood frenemies to lovers plot and they argue all. the. time. and you’re forced into the World’s Worst Third Wheeling Experience.
the revolutionary group holding you captive keeps trying to take the bones of your dead boss away and you keep getting electrocuted. also fun fact: the body of your very dead friend is ~2 Hot 2 Rot~ and simply does not decompose. the revolutionary group starts a bit of a cult around it.
somewhere along the way, you somehow you manage to get your boss back to living status, but your new roommates include:
- a 10,000 year old cavalier (founder of the 2nd house) who is NOT in her own body
- an amnesiac girl named nona who is also NOT in her own body
and additionally you have to deal with: zombies. the apocalypse. an incoming war. the wrath of god. possible birthday parties.
things could be going better.
@winged wow this made me realize that it’s been over 2.5 years since i made the original post. i haven’t done a proper post-nona release update to it yet but i do just want to say:
given The Circumstances, it was absolutely no surprise that camila spontaneously burst into flames in ntn. she was well within her rights to do that
Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we’re using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.
The Diagnosis
In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience.
Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content.
To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.
Our Guiding Principles
To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.
Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Retain and grow our creator base.
Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.
Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.
1: I get it, fresh meat. More users means more ad revenue or revenue streams. This is standard practice.
2: No. Just, no. There’s a reason people leave Farcebook and all the other fail media and that’s just burnout. It blurs. It’s painful. They are not social, just media. Algorithms shovel you into groups of bodies like we’re getting milked or slaughtered.
Tumblr let’s you follow people you connect with and share their experiences with your own. It’s social. Don’t take the social aspect away. We like our following as it is. This alone is enough of a threat to cause me not purchase from site.
3: This is a bit reasonable. But do the smart thing and work with your community, not consultants. Because what hooks people into tumblr is the people already here.
4: Trying to force “creator success” leads to creative burnout. Some creators want to share. Others just want want a side gallery for pieces. Other don’t want to create here, it’s just a place to chill. And then people like me who look at the buffet spread before them and pick and choose what they want to consume. Line us all up to eat the same slop? Not good.
5: <insert vulgarity here> NOTIFICATIONS! The little numbers that show up in the upper right corner of my browser is more than enough! Don’t bug me when I’m off the clock unless you’re going to pay me for being on call.
6: Improving your infrastructure is a good move, but don’t slop a new coat of paint on until AFTER you fixed everything under the hood. A shiny paint job will never cover the fact that it’s bleeding oil and blowing black smoke out the back.
Re: “You deserve a digital home that works for you.”
Deserve? That’s underhanded language. Companies tell employees they “deserve” a foosball table in the breakroom when really they deserve better pay. So many people on here don’t want a digital home. They want a drum circle around a bonfire while we makes s'mores and listen to Bob tell his story about how he wrestled a bear and it’s obviously not true but it somehow ended up getting him married and it’s funny anyway.
We want to look up and see the stars, not light pollution.
ALT
